I wasn’t fatherless–at least not for the first 10 years. As a child, I remember a haunting song with words that made me sad—sometimes I feel like a motherless child. In the world today, I think more people feel fatherless. A growing number of children spend at least part of their childhood in a single-parent home. But even in the physical presence of a dad, many times a child feels fatherless.
I have a personality that waits. Waits for an invitation to share love. I never knew that growing up. And I think my daddy didn’t realize it until much later in life. He sat and read the newspaper. My sister didn’t bother waiting. She jumped right between him and the paper, demanding the attention she needed. I stood there, silent, hoping he’d look up and reach out his hand to me. Most of the time, I think he didn’t even know I was there. Which one of us grew up feeling fatherless? Even after my parents divorced, my sister enjoyed a strong relationship with him. I wondered if he loved me at all.
Thankfully, before Daddy passed away, I found the truth. He did love me, just in a different way than I needed. His love for me was more intense than I ever knew, and unfortunately, I didn’t realize that until after his death.
I’m grateful I also learned about a Heavenly Father early in my life. Ironically, God reached out to me, asking if I wanted to be His child. While an earthly relationship left me wounded, He made sure I overcame the feelings of fatherlessness by being a perfect Father. Healing came later in my life, and the Lord will use my experiences from tasting fatherlessness to help others find healing if I let Him.
Someday, I will join Daddy in Heaven. I suspect he’ll be at the gate, waiting to greet me. And he won’t have a newspaper in his hands. He’ll see me and I’m pretty sure, he’ll open his arms wide to give me a hug. And if he doesn’t? I won’t wait for his invitation. The ache of fatherless memories will melt into a pure love in a place where there is no room for anything less.